self/ish

It is a common assumption that being self-focused is a selfish occupation. Yet, in the Western world, our culture saturates us with an overinflated concept of self-importance. We are bombarded with advice regarding self-care, self-compassion, self-worth, self-awareness and yet seem to have both chronic self-esteem and self-importance problems.

Everyday we see another selfie of a self that makes our self feel a little less self fulfilled.

With so much focus on ourselves it can leave us thinking that we exist on a binary scale, we can either be selfish or selfless, good or bad.

Yet, we can rethink the equation. As Angela Duckworth states in Grit, “Most people think self-oriented and other-oriented motivations are opposite ends of a continuum. Yet they are completely independent. You can have one, or both”.

At a time where self-care is described as a self-focused activity, self-care could be reconceptualised. What could self-care look like outside capitalism, consumerism or consumption?

Self-care as activism
Self-care as learning
Self-care as sitting outside comfort
Self-care as extending beyond our self-concept to incorporate others

The implication of this, is that we have the ability to develop our orientations equally. They do not exist as polarities.

The sweet spot is a cultivation of both. Where we can deepen our inner worlds while also amplifying our curiosity for others’. One where we commit to an enrichment of both our self (inner) and our other (outer).